Fit or Fat?

The thing about winter (even the 14 degree sort we have here), is that it turns all us mortals into unhealthy blobs of lazy.
It's too cold to do anything outside so you just want to curl up in bed, comforted by the warmth of your laptop...or a tub of icecream.
So it came as no surprise, when two months down the line I was chalking up those calories and hadn't enough stamina to even pretend to run.

Hence the quest to find myself a gym.
After eliminating a few of the dodgy ones, and more than a few outrageously priced ones, I had narrowed myself to this one place that seemed just right; reasonably priced, conveniently located and well-reputed. The phone coversation went as follows:

Gym: Hello, you have reached the Fat Crusaders*, how may I help you?
Me: Yea, hi! I read about your gym on your website, and was wondering how I could go about signing up for a membership?
Gym: Sure ma'am. First you'll have to come over so that we can have a weigh-in. Then on analysis of your body type we'll decide what regime and diet best suits you..
Me: ..Oh, but I don't want to be put on a diet!
Gym: You..don't want to diet?
Me: No. You see I was just hoping to maybe pop in a couple of times a week after work. Not for the purpose of losing weight, but to get more in shape.
Gym: To get in shape.
Me: Yes. As in, to get a bit healthy you know?
Gym: You're not overweight ma'aam?
Me: Erm no..
Gym: *confused silence*
Me: Listen, don't you have an option where anyone can just walk-in, work-out, and leave as they please?
Gym: Ma'aam..you'll have to be in at least 5 times a week, and a maximum of 7 times.
Me: So, that's a no.
Gym: *pause* Yes.
Me: Erm..right then, thanks. And good luck with that.

'You're not overweight ma'aam??' Why is that so hard to believe?? And why on earth is it so incomprehensible that some people don't have an agenda, and are just fine with the way they are..or life even. So like the 21+ tag on all clubs (and some movies), turns out you need to be above the normal weight limit to be allowed to enter a fitness regime.

Pity though..if not for it's despotic regime that place would've been my safest bet. Until then my not-so-overweight self has resorted to boycotting the elevator. So until I can find myself a less domineering gym, it's the stairs for me!

Doubt it'll really help much since I live in a duplex, and I pretty much have to make more than a couple of daily climbs to get to my room / loo and back...but lets not burst that pet bubble of denial shall we? It helps me sleep at night.


Cheers.



*name has been changed for discretion*

Oh L'Amour!

Ahh..it's that time of year again folks. The month of lurrve / amour / pyaar / hubb.

That dreaded month where Hallmark pukes out it's entire mush collection, rose bushes are fed an over-dose of fertilizer, and 3rd-world children in a workshop somewhere are made to stop working on those footballs and divert their time to producing massive heart-wielding stuffed toys.
Where people with 'In a Relationship' FaceBook statuses (stati?) run around in a frenzied panic tring to figure out until the last minute what best to give their other half. Singletons either run and hide, or bring up their flirting game (the closer to the date the more savage the eyelid batting / muscle flexing).

I'm actually with the "Aye" Team on the whole V-day debate. They "Nay"'s argue that you don't need to put aside a particular day to tell someone you love them (blah, blah)..but why on earth not? Besides,not even cupid is going to be aiming those arrows every single day of every single year. Surely the flying man in diapers needs a day off.
The same applies for Mother's Day, Father's Day, Earth Day, Groundhog Day (what is that anyway?)..we all need a little push, a reminder, a reason to party.

Obviously I can't stand how commercial it's turned out either. They'll push you into the deep end they will. By 'they' I mean the members on the board of Valentine's Day conspirators; Hallmark, Patchi, Tiffany's, the Maldives, and the extreme-sports-can-be-romantic people. They convince you that that the 14th of February is the best day to propose..the best day to make up for forgetting the birthday..the best day to load up on chocolate guiltlessly, etc.
And we (the gullible little puppets that we are) let ourselves get pushed. We fall in face-first, then decide to swim along with the rest of the smitten in that pool of soppy.

So on that unabashed note..here's wishing you all a Happy Valentine's Day! Now go bag those dinner reservations,and compile those mixed-tapes..the day's fast approaching! Spread the love people..and spread it hard.



Cheers!